Archive for the ‘drollery’ Category

DL*
28 May, 2011

One of my favorite shows is In the Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman. One of my favorite podcasts is Doug Loves Movies. Anyone heard from D. L. Hughley?

Ace Couture
18 May, 2011

We went to see Adam Carolla last Saturday night. As Mister Johnny-on-the-Ticket-Master-web-site, I managed to score us second row seats. He put on a great, ninety-minute show and stayed after the show, though he was obviously beat, to sign stuff. (We even got our photo taken by Mike Lynch.) On the way home, we were talking about how it seemed that Carolla had just walked in from the other room and started talking. When I mentioned that someone in the crowd had yelled that he was wearing the same shirt as the last time he came to town, my spouse commented that he spends most of his day wearing sweats and his pants looked a little like sweats.

“You’re right,” I agreed, “they did look like poplin sweats.”

My spouse laughed and said, “Are you Carson Kressley? Not just sweats. Not even cotton sweats. But poplin sweats.”

“No,” I corrected, “poplin is an inherently funny word.”

Amateur Humoredian
7 May, 2011

My youngest had a friend for a sleepover a fortnight past. During dinner table conversation, my spouse introduced as a topic the recent archeological find of a male skeleton buried in the fashion of a female. Ignorant of the degree to which the friend’s family had addressed gender issues, I glossed over the concept of the two-spirit. My eldest, who is really developing quite the comic mind, said in a caveman voice, “Foot-Smash is strong in battle but knits a nice afghan.”

The nut doesn’t fall far from the tree, eh?

Viva Zapato
5 May, 2011

Our yogi does not care for John Canzano because he perceives him to be biased toward a local university due to the influence of a certain, locally-headquartered, footwear and apparel company. While relating this my spouse said, “He doesn’t like Canzano because he thinks he’s in the pocket of…”, and then paused, searching for the right term.

I offered, “Big shoe?”

(I can not be the first person to use this joke. But I have not heard it before and it quite tickles me.)

Coincidence?
5 February, 2011

This morning while watching Joel McHale heckle Mega Python vs. Gatoroid my spouse commented on the silly spelling of theĀ the channel formerly known as the Sci-Fi Channel. Later whilst we were watching an episode of The Big Bang Theory Leonard makes the same comment.

Coincidence? I think not. It’s obvious they’ve been spying on us again. From the future. And then going back in time. Oh, it would all make sense if Christopher Nolan filmed it.

I Laughed So Hard
3 January, 2011

We were driving behind a car with a decal of the word “Maligaya” beneath the swoosh of a certain locally-headquartered shoe manufacturer.

“I wonder what ‘maligaya’ means…” I said.

My spouse shouted, “Work faster!”

 

From Whence Came That?
14 December, 2010

My eldest announced this morning, “I had a dream last night involving Donald Trump, a swimming pool, and one very angry koala.”

Scots Pine What Hae?
6 December, 2010

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. So, of course, even the kids have their own, private Christmas trees. Whilst unpacking the Christmas decorations yesterday, my spouse found the kids’ trees and handed them out. As my eldest was walking off, my spouse called, “Did you want the tree skirt?” To which my eldest corrected, “It’s called a tree kilt.”

American Mike
18 July, 2010

I like to think I have a decent sense of humor. Occasionally, though, I find something hilarious. For example, after a few months at a new job many years ago, I heard one of my coworkers refer to me as “American Mike”. As the people in the conversation were all citizens, I found this odd and asked about the origin. Since my family name is also a brand associated with one of the Big Three and his family name is a homonym for a famous marque of Japanese automobile, somebody dubbed me “American Mike” and him “Japanese Mike”.

Pretty flippin’ funny, if you ask me.

Smile When You Say That
8 February, 2010

On Saturday I was making a cake in preparation for the High Holy Day of American culture and it was not going well. First, despite my prodigious lubrication thereof, the cake stuck to the pan. Second, despite my application of a primer layer, the surface of the cake kept tearing away when I tried to apply the frosting. To say that I was frustrated would be an understatement. (I must confess that there was even a bout of child-like throwing of implements.)

I pronounced, “This is a total disaster!” My eldest wandered into the kitchen and said, “Yeah, but it’s your total disaster.”