Loco Parentis

While not masculinist, I have previously written about the problem of contemporary culture’s denigration of males. A healthy person has a balance of the masculine and the feminine, not necessarily equal parts of each, but a balance between them both. Yet the image of the male as an apish, vulgar, greedy buffoon pervades too much of the narrative. When I heard someone complain about the feminization of our young boys, I was skeptical at first. However, I must admit after further reflection that I can see evidence of such in my own childhood.

I see a difference between protecting and defending. Protecting means ensuring that nothing bad happens to someone at all. Defending means ensuring that nothing bad happens to someone without consequence. When protecting, you stand in front of the other such that any damage happens to you instead of them. When defending, you stand beside the other such that you can provide support where necessary.

If the feminine brings an awareness of interdependence, the masculine brings an awareness of independence. As I know well, there will be times in your life when you are completely on your own. You can not depend on someone always being there to protect you. The we-never-keep-score, everybody-gets-a-ribbon mindset places an unbalanced emphasis on the interdependence of the players’ emotions at the expense of the independence of their characters.

As a masculine parent, my role is not to ensure that my kids never have anything bad happen to them. Rather, my role is to prevent irrevocable damage from happening to them and to provide them support in overcoming everything else. The misandrist environment of my childhood seems designed to beat all independence out of me. Our children should not have to wait decades to find the proper balance. Both boys and girls should have their masculine traits nurtured as much as their feminine traits. One day I will no longer be able to defend myself and will need someone to stand beside me.

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