Recently nerdygirl had a contest to pick her nemesis. (It was a hoot!) At one point in the proceedings, she reminded everyone that the role of nemesis was a humorous one only; no nerdygirls were to be harmed. It was totally fun in her own, special way. (Remember: they will always love you.)

That got me to thinking. Did I want a nemesis? Was I going to be the dorky kid that everyone shunned because I had none? How gauche was it to be sans nemesis?

But I don't want a nemesis. I'm sure there are a few people out there right now that harbor a deep (and inappropriate) hatred toward me. I bet Chris Fahlbusch still hates me for reasons unknown. Despite his unexpected and rather awkward letter a decade ago, my money is that Alexander Lai still seethes at my lack of comeuppance.

Those are just the unidirectional animosities. Then there are the bidirectional ones. The mailman, Frank, has turned his broad bitterness at the life of a postal carrier into a personal enmity with me. (I was fine with him until he started destroying my children's gifts.) The Les Schwab store on Walker Road has also thrown down the gauntlet. Why these folk would want to start a feud with a Scot is beyond me, but there you have it.

I wouldn't classify any of those as nemeses. (Although if you are a full-fledged nemesis out there with me as your target, please let me know; I'd like to properly participate.) They are far too low-grade for the title of "nemesis".

And I like it that way. Life is too short to waste time plotting another's downfall. Maybe if I was any better at it I'd get some sort of joy from it. But I'd rather have people that think, if only for one brief moment, "without that guy I'd be in deep kimchee".

nerdygirl can keep her nemesis. I wish them both the best of luck in dreaming up creative (and fictional!) ways to off each other. (I'm seeing Michael Palin in A Fish Called Wanda for some reason.) I, on the other hand, will continue to Be Nice and hope that, in due course, I reap the rewards of some good karma.


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